Monday, May 10, 2010

Caregiver's journal, May 10

My mom's health is slowly degrading. I feel like I'm putting in 48 hours in a day. There's so much to tend to. Having increased number of doctor's visits, I'm continuously doing tons of laundry daily, replacing her bedding daily, more bathroom accidents and plus dealing with things she doesn't understand. She's constantly confused and says the strangest things:
1) "My friend never talks or eats, what's wrong with her?"- mirrored doors
2) "How did you got away from kidnappers, since you've been missing for days"- I've been in the living room working on the computer for an hour.
3) "Why haven't your kids returned home from school, it's dark outside"- the kids are in bed and asleep.
4) "I'm starving, I hadn't eaten in days".- it's been only an hour or two since she last had a snack.
5) "I've never had that before", she wonder what strange foods I've given her for lunch, - peanut butter and jelly or spaghetti and sauce, or chicken and rice.

I try to keep a positive outlook on things, It's been difficult becoming the parent to a 90 lbs child. Her mobility and comprehension have decreased almost daily. She has a innocent of a child once again, she'll get her head stuck trying to remove her shirt, loose her sock while removing her pants, wear her sweater inside out and upside down, and her favorite words are "I do it myself". I'm just grateful for this opportunity to care for her during her final stages of Alzheimer's.
What I've learned from this experience is that I'm stronger than I've ever thought, caring to the best of my ability is part of my DNA, my compassion, tenacity and dedication is never yielding. I know I can say with no regrets is that I made a difference in her life and I'm a better person because of it.
Thank you for taking the time to follow my caregiving journey.